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86 THE CHEESY
Don’t Show Me Any More Family Pictures
I know what your kids look like
Parents, please don’t show me any more pictures of your kids. I don’t want to see them in onesies or Halloween costumes, eating solid food for the first time, or graduating from daycare. It’s enough to see your kids on Instagram and Facebook and the walls of your living room. Just don’t ask me, “Do you want to see pictures of my kids?”
If I say yes, you’ll wheel out a massive family photo album — much thicker than the 1967 Sears catalog. Thicker than “War and Peace.”
Don't expect me to say, “ Oh, how cute. Your children are adorable,” because I won’t. I'm tired of saying what I don’t mean.
Don’t feel heartbroken when I refuse to say your kids are cute. That doesn’t mean I think your kids are ugly.
Your children might be ugly, but I wouldn’t say it. I was an ugly baby with a bad comb-over. I know how it feels to be judged by looks, especially if you’re a baby and too young for plastic surgery.
The world would be happier if parents showed less of their kids and talked more about the exciting aspects of their lives—not their children’s.
However, if you have to show me pictures, show me the funny, awkward ones, like your alcoholic…
