MASCOT HUMOR

The Day I Met Mr. Monopoly

Alias Rich Uncle Pennybags, the real estate mogul

Photo by the author’s wife and edited by Mark Tulin

My wife and I went to the museum for the art but met Mr. Monopoly instead. He was doing a photo shoot to celebrate the new Palm Springs Monopoly edition and allowed people to take pictures of him.

“Hello,” I said, looking at his humungous plastic head and supersized top hat.

He put his white-gloved hand on my shoulder like an old friend.

“Well, hello,” he replied in a muffled voice and frozen smile.

I don’t usually talk to mascots, but Mr. Monopoly was different. He seemed accessible and friendly even though he had a wild barbershop mustache and a disproportionate head.

“How old are you?” I asked.

“Eighty-six,” he replied. “I was born in 1936.”

“Damn, you look good for your age. Did you lose some weight? You had been short and stubby the last time I looked.”

“Yeah, the doctor said I had high blood pressure and diabetes, so he put me on a Mediterranean Diet.”

“How about your monocle? Why aren’t you wearing one?”

“I had cataract laser surgery last February, and now my vision is 20/20.”