Member-only story
COWORKER HUMOR
The Great Christmas Party Debate
To declaw or not declaw
Our last office Christmas party was at a beautiful, high-end restaurant. The wine was flowing, people were into the holiday spirit, and the Italian server thought he was Luciano Pavarotti singing an aria from Verdi’s Rigoletto. I ordered the filet mignon and my coworker-friend the veal parmigiana. Having too much to drink, we talked about random things, like our boss’s crooked hairpiece, the cost of a bikini wax, and the people who declaw housecats.
“I love my orange tabby,” my friend said, putting his hand on my shoulder.
“Me, too,” I slurred. “My Russian Blue is my favorite person, I mean, the best animal. I couldn’t live without him.”
“Only the best for my cat,” said my friend. “There’s no expense when it comes to him.”
“Absolutely. There’s nothing too good for my pussy, I mean, my cat. I’d never get him declawed in a million years.”
“I don’t know why people do it?” asked my friend.
“Me, either. If only people knew how brutal it is. They cut off the poor kitty’s front knuckles. It screws up their gait, and they walk cockeyed. My vet said he’d die before declawing a cat in his office.”
