Member-only story
MY FIRST CRUSH
Wherefore Art Thou, Mindy Kozinski?
The true story of Romeo and Juliet…kind of
My relationships with women were imperiled at a young age because Mindy Kozinski broke my heart in fourth grade.
I'm now sixty-six, but I can still remember the pain of my first love interest.
Saturday, circa 1965. I stuck my hand deep inside my mother's purse and fished out some loose change. Then I snuck past my little sister, who was watching The Jetsons. I was on a mission to get Mindy Kozinski the best gift she ever got from a kid a little over three feet tall.
At the store, I asked the owner, Mr. Kooker, "What would make a girl in high school fall in love with me?"
"Damned if I know," he said in a thick Romanian accent.
"I’m not kidding, Mr. Kooker. I need to get her something now. I’m going to ask her to go steady today."
"How old are you?" he asked.
"Nine and a half."
“How old is the girl in question?”
“Seventeen.”
"You’re too young to have a girlfriend," Mr. Kooker said. "I didn't start dating until I was thirty-six. And older women only like younger men when they’re at least fifty. You’re barking up…
